Handling Holland.. (and now aidan too!)

As i was busy preparing for my raya hampers and orders, he text me saying that he got it! he probably knew how busy i was, thus he msged. at that time I wanted to cry. syukur alhamdulillah! i knew from the beginning that he’d get it. we all knew!

This coming month or so i’ll busy doing raya hampers, yet again. with fabric boxes this year (enough of mengkuang and bamboo, they’re too common now, everywhere!), this is something different. i hope to do well, insyaallah. it is probably my last year doing it, and i have to give it my all.

There will be a lot of things to consider now. a lot of changes, more planning. more listening, thus all have to be patient, sabar, considerate and keep our mind on it.

He took the time text mum, dad and kakak. they were all thrilled, especially kakak! she now can plan her summer holidays for next year!! he later then called mum and dad to let them know of the status. he didnt leave them behind, we felt included and loved.

"Not to worry of our initial plans, everything can be adjusted", dad said. "sort out the most important ones first, put your priorities straight"

He is my priority, he is my life.

A new life awaits… and i cant wait!

It has been a long time indeed since i last write. reason being - kakak went back, hardy left for the most important interview thousands of miles away, busy buying kakak’s stuff, busy getting my stuff, kakak’s engagement, my engagement, and again busy trying to settle everything before kakak goes back to warwick.

The past one month was beautiful. seldom, very seldom, all four of us, are together. so we took the opportunity to spend more time with each other. catching up on stories, doing things together, going places together, basically, just enjoying each others company. we really REALLY bonded this time. kakak hardly had the time to call and meet up with everybody. some would understand, some dont. well, its a pity that they dont understand. what’s important to us is our intention. we wanted to spend time with each other, that was kakak’s priority for this visit.

This past 3 weeks, i’ve never seen kakak smiled so wide, laughed so hard. i’ve never seen dad so relieved, i’ve never seen mak so excited! all four now are trully happy. i really believe everthing happens for a reason. God is so so great. everytime we laughed i thanked God. everytime she smiled i say alhamdulillah. we had the best time ever, just enjoying each other’s company. i remembered after dinner, we wound sit in our dining room for hours, just chatting, laughing away. i just cant tell you how much fun we had being together as one family.

The meetings, the engagements, the dinners went well, and so did the interview! I dont know how mum did it, but she did! i’m still amazed with everything she did for me and kakak. she is trully, indeed amazing. she handled everything (and i do mean everything) so so well. dad helped everything he could.

Kakak’s was extremely private. looking back at it, how i wished mine would be like hers!! it was all so touching and so meaningful. beautiful, and she looked gorgeous!

If hers was extremely private, mine was private. and, i’m now wearing the most beautiful ring i’ve ever sat eyes on :))

Alhamdulillah. It was all beautiful, with close close family members and close close friends and family friends around. it was a private one with most meaningful people in our lives, under one roof. those from far came down to help, those near came almost everyday to help out. all of us had so so much fun. we crack jokes, enjoyed each others company, exchange and contribute ideas, ate together. it was pure joy to see everyone enjoying themselves. there are some who couldnt make it, they called, they sent text msgs, they send cards, touched. how i wish they were there, on that day, sharing our happiness. nonetheless, i had the best time! every min of it! it was, really, meaningful, indeed.

Believe me when i say everything happens for a reason. if not for our past, how we handled it, we wouldnt be so happy now. i remember telling my now fiance how happy i am, at last, everyone’s happy. i wouldnt trade this for anything in the world. "kalau tak ada duit, happy macam ni pon i can still live". money cant buy happiness.

I’m blessed, to have my precious sister back for my engagement, so blessed to have another new member in the family, i now have an elder brother! i’m blessed to have such amazing parents, the most wonderful people in the world to me, i’m blessed to have good friends who understands, i’m blessed to have positive, hillarious, hardworking, joyful aunts, auntie jeela, mama, auntie aziah, auntie ruby, auntie rubina, last but not least, i’m so blessed to get to be with somebody i really admire, i look up to, i treassure, i love with all my life.

I love driving. the past week have been really hectic. i was in KLIA probably 4 times. I know where the cleanest toilets are, i know how many maybank atm machines there are, i’ve been to almost all the shops.. first, hardy left for kuching and kk that afternoon, later that evening my sister arrived from UK, a day later, fetched hardy, later that night, sent him off again. i cant describe how i felt at that time - exited, overjoyed, anxious, nervous… everything’s happening so fast! but the best trip was yesterday’s trip. as i fetched him back from amsterdam.

The past one week i have been driving around kl. really! and pj. we almost went to shah alam but didnt have the time. we left for the shops right after breakfast and came back only after dinner. we went all over! as i finished day two of driving, i realised how hard it is to be a taxi driver in kl. the heat, the traffic, the kecoh-ness, last min change of destination… and i was lucky! i was driving an automatic, air cond was superb and my passengers are my family! but still, penat!! and now i’ve come to appreciate more - taxi drivers, very very much. i remembered when i first got my licence, dad told me, always give way to cab drivers. they spend hours on the road, and diorang carik makan. i most of the time do, but i sometimes dont. and after my day two of being one (a so called driver,  and i was paid by the way! in pounds!! - by my ever so generous sister) i started to look at taxi drivers differently.

I’ve always use the cab, since i move to kl. i’ve made friends with them, i even have my own code when i call ’supercab’!! to earn a living from driving people all around, they have my outmost respect. yes, some are less friendly, some can be rude, but one has to understand the work. its probably the heat, the unfriendly passengers etc. that have made them like that. betapa penatnya jadi a taxi driver, i can assure you! sometimes they make enough money, sometimes if they’re not so lucky, they dont make much. i would suggest, everyone, if you happen to take a taxi, give a little bit more. even 50 sen would make their day, believe me. and you can never know what they say in their hearts. some would even pray for you! some might not say it right to you but in their hearts, you never know!

Despite the kecoh-ness of my ‘passengers’, i enjoyed myself. every bit of it. i dont mind driving anywhere. the most rewarding thing is to see their faces, and to be hearing "thank you dek". i would do it over and over again. they’ve made my day!

Last friday’s session at starbucks reminded me how important friends are. and to have such friends who would help you and go all out when you are in need is extremely rare. i was fortunate to get to know these people. hardy has brought me close to his amazing freinds and i’m the lukiest! khaizul, ez and adam… such great people, such great hearts. how they helped one another, how they give one another, how they support each other, how they compliment one another, how they teased one another… i enjoyed the starbucks session very much and looking forward to more of them in the future!

I love all all my friends dearly, sincerely, theire uniqueness stands and i hope and pray all their well wishes, all their positive dreams will come true.

We did a lot today. we went almost everywhere! and there wasnt even a sigh from him. there wasnt even a word of ‘tired’ that came out from him. no complaints, no blabbering, nothing.

We picked up the food at desa pandan at half 11, then to kundang to send them to the volunteers (we were late, arrived at 1, everyone was so hungry), spend some time there with them till almost 2.then we had lunch at bandar rahman putra, then to tesco for groceries for mummy and babah, then back to hardy’s house to get his stuff, then to s16, his office for a short while to get some papers, then we got stuck in the jam on our way to k.sherry’s in cheras, u turned and headed to bangi. arrived at half 6, went to pasar malam to get more barang barang for tuesday’s early dinner, then had our dinner at mummy’s. after our tummies are full, we left for ibu’s house at petronas permata. at that time it was nearly 10. it was certainly good seeing abah again after so so long, and farah was back! we seriously need to feed her!! we stayed until quite late, talking, laughing, sharing…  and in between those, there were serious talk too.

On our way back from ibu’s, he said, probably the best five words anyone would be overjoyed to hear. important words. meaningful words. most touching and it made me feel appreciated and put me so high, its like you’re on top of the world!!! no one apart from mum, dad and kakak has ever said it to me. i was in tears and terus tak jadi nak tido dalam kereta! (but somehow towards reaching home tertido jugak!) it means so so much to hear them. i strongly believe everyone should be able to express how they feel. if you’re happy with someone, say it, let that person know. if you love that someone, tell it to them. they deserve to know. expressing our feelings are very important in a relationship. appreciate one another. i’ve always been at the giving end, always. in almost everyways. too much sometimes. finally, to be able to be at the receiving end, i just cant describe the feeling!

I’m certainly beat but it was all worthwhile. and it was certainly a beautiful, a complete day.

I’m so proud of you too!! so proud..

The last couple of weeks have been rather exciting for us. the last few days i was being a lot more emotional. it has just been all so touching. lots of things are going to take place this month - a long awaited homecoming, meaningful events, a very important interview thousands of miles away, working collaboration for puasa and raya, preparation for our day… its all happening so fast! (tho i’m not complaining, at all). it has REALLY been exciting.

Homecoming

i’m extremely exited kakak’s coming back. she hasnt been back for almost 4 years. looking forward to spend more time with her and bringing her around to get ready. i now know things are ok and all we need is to work on it from there on. its been rather difficult for her but i’m sure things will get better now that we got the ‘green light’! hardy’s been such a sweetheart and supportive. almost every place we go he kept saying, "we’ll bring kakak here". tho the two havent really met, all the phone conversations went really well with fifi laughing her heart out to hardy’s slang and jokes. i so look forward to these two to meet up!! it is exteremely important for us 4 to spend time together first. ayah has been looking forward to that for so long. lots need to be said and ironed out. lots to plan and execute. it can be quite difficult to deal with those who doesnt understand. but i pray that most of them do and there wont be any ‘kecik hati‘ from anyone. there’s a reason to everything we do. we would share it to the whole world once the timing is right. i hope that there wont be any negativity and all would understand and be happy! everyone’s looking forward to kakak coming back, everyone.

Meaningful Events

a lot would take place, i’m sure. but there will be a couple of highlights. i hope and pray that everything will turn out right insyaallah. everything will run smoothly, selamat, dan diberkati Allah s.w.t. it will be a private one for one, and followed by with some sort like a small gathering for us. i’m trying my best to keep it low, small and private with the closest people and very very dear to our hearts. i’m so looking forward to it!

The Interview Thousands of Miles Away

It all started with an email from Steffan. followed by a phone converstation with Rolf and it grew and moved from there. we prayed and we did our research. we did a lot of discussing. we did a lot of thinking. we seek a lot of prayers from the most important people in our lives, we weighed the pros and cons, and now, we know of our niat and will leave it up to Him. all will be certain by next weekend insyaallah. regardless the outcome, i’m so proud of him and they way he handled everything that came to us lately. i will be happy just to be with him no matter where.

Puasa & Raya

Again, i’m doing my giveaways and hampers for puasa & raya, something i really look forward to doing again. and again, i’ve clearly stated my niat in my heart in doing so. like last year, i was trully blessed to be able to handle and cope with such orders. looking back at it, i still wonder how we did it! this year, i was given an opportunity yet once more. alhamdulillah. i just pray to God that He will give us all the strength, kesihatan dan dipermudahkan jalan. insyaallah. i hope to be able to work with my hardworking and reliable cousin nikki again. it was such a joy!! getting feedback from companies and interested parties last year has helped me to be much prepared this time around. insyaallah.

Hardy supports me in everything i do. his words, gestures and willingness helps me to work even harder. this means so so much to me. thank you ever so much for if not for you,  i dont know what i would do!

Our Day

No matter when, where or how, i’m so looking forward to it!