Handling Holland.. (and now aidan too!)

this was a few days back…

the medical centre was closed for lunch, so we decided to walk around till it opens at 2. went into proton edar, saw the new savvy (not a big fan, its ok i guess, i still think myvi looks better, have yet to test drive em both), went into a camping store, went into this shop that sells all the bathroom fixtures… then, i bumped into an old friend. its always good to bump into an old friend (well, sometimes.. haha). anyway, i was quite surprised to see her there, where she worked. its not that she’s doing anything illegal or anything, no, its a decent job at a decent place, its alright, the most important thing duit halal. i just wished she would have worked somewhere else better with her qualifications and good background. i was asking how married life is, if things are cool, how long she’s been there, whether she’s happy working there, how her child is, but didnt get any answers from her at all. she straight away asked me if i could help her get out of this situation of hers. i then asked why. she told me plainly, she just wasnt happy with life and practically begging me to help. i was stunned and scared.

its amazing how one would put up with his/her partner’s ‘treatment’ and based it all on love. its amazing how one would sacrifice her aims/ambitions for love (i’ve been there, in my case, it was rather stupid! more of a regret, but i’ve turned the regret to a choice i’ve made, and i’m pleased with it now, brought me to where i am today!). there has got to be give and take. have to be balanced. one cant be selfish. it cant be one sided. i dont believe in solving issues with violence. it will make it worse. i know how it feels, as a close member of my family’s been there and it was just pure torture, and hurts like hell just to see her deal, cope, suffer. we all had to cope with it. it has left us with a deep scar, but it has been treated. alhamdulillah. forgive. that’s what we all did.

well anyway, back to this old friend of mine, she’s suffering, she’s so unhappy in life, her marriage. after listening to her, all i can say is, we girls have got to be strong and independent. mentally strong. if you’re unhappy, do something about it, dont let it drag on till it reaches a stage where you cant control it. you are in the driver seat, therefore you have the control of the car. its never too late to do something. act on it now, dont be scared and dont be ashamed. in life, you have choices, its not easy making them sometimes, but once you have carefully thought about it, stick to it. if that doesnt work, seek help elsewhere. dont listen to the negatives, channel it to somewhere else or simply turn it to something positive. dont torture yourself by being unhappy, dont let your partner control you till he doenst even allow you to think and express how you feel. its simply unhealthy, it will just eat you up. its not worth to let yourself suffer for him, no matter how much you love him. you gotta love yourself. its a pity.. and a real shame.. she’s very smart, comes from a good background, soft spoken and berbahasa, very pretty, sweet. she needs to be real strong for her own good.

oh, and one other thing… if you have all the signs infront of you, dont ignore them. never ignore them. never.

its sad to see her like that. i thought it wouldnt happen again. i hope and pray for the best, the big bulk is on her, but i’m going to do what i can, insyaAllah.

having seen all these experiences in front of me, i begin to appreciate more, be more thankful for what i have, not take things for granted, be stronger while still be cautious and have my grounds. i’ve found that balance lately, what i lack (which is a lot), i have found in him. he makes every sense and i couldnt be more happier. yes, i’ve decided to tone ‘it’ down, who cares about the ‘upper range item’, its not fulfilling enough for me what i want and seek is more than that, the feeling of you’re being loved, cared, honoured, nothing can beat those feeling. he puts me first, have never felt that. sharing almost everything from doing chores (like today!) to responsibilities to sharing food (like yesterday!) is the best. we, most of the time think its a burden but if you look at the other side of it, its compromising and understanding each other better! and the reward? the look on our faces and how happy we are after we shared all those :))  now THAT’S fulfilment!! no other material stuff can top that. so fortunate to have felt all these (and more) from him. will pray it will stay that way, insyaAllah.

i was so fortunate to be introduced to this guy by the name of mohamed, and his cousin tahir. it was probably 4 months ago when k.na’s mum introduced him to mum and dad. he came over to our house in jb and brought persian carpets to show. mum did some calling up with such short notice (hardly a couple of hours), prepared some kuih and tea for her friends. most of them brought cakes etc. then, we had our carpet party! (remember fara?)

nobody purchased his carpet during his first visit. after the ‘party’ mohamed started calling my parents to invite them to his restaurant in kl. he was so thankful (i dont know why since he didnt make any sale that visit) insisted we come and try their food, if not, they’ll deliver them to us. we couldnt make it to their restaurant in subang, the ampang branch wasnt open then. he was very dissapointed. few weeks later i then went to the ampang branch opening, together with mak wan, uncle mod, k.na, nikki. mum and dad’s next visit, we went there. located at taman dagang, near the police station, a huge restaurant, nicely decorated. food was beyond words! mine and hardy’s favourite was fish methi, simply awesome. we had a good (and i DO mean GOOD) meal, portion was good (altho terlebih sikit, muhamed ordered too much for us to handle). I brace myself to try their dessert (i’m not experimental with food sometimes, still workin on it). the shreded carrots (i forgot what its called) was interesting! i have never taken lassi before but their mango lassi’s SOOO goooooodd! worth to try. if i were to give a rating to the quality of the food, it has got to be 5 stars! Nan was fresh (of all sorts), tandoori unlike any other! you cant even compare this place with any mamaks or other indian restaurant. they are in a different league! they are fine pakistani cuisine… to complete our meal, we had masala tea. dappppppppp!!!

he now calls me every fortnight just to ask how me and hardy are doing, he calls mum and dad almost every other day asking when’s their next visit to kl. he never gives up. he will ask and continuously ask us to come to the restaurant. i’ve brought nina (a bruneian, my bestest housemate back in oxford), her husband and their charming son Fahmi to the restaurant during their visit in malaysia, i’ve brought hardy’s most amazing group of friends there, and the rest, was just me and hardy! oh, and to celebrate adik and ezrina’s wedding, DA had her close friends for dinner. it was just us lot in the subang branch, with auntie intan being so hillariously funny telling us the story of cotton buds!! so sooo funny!

i believe that this is our rezeki. rezeki might be from getting free food to getting a parking lot at ampang point (hehehe..those who know how difficult it is to get one there). and even if you dont get a parking lot, getting there safely is rezeki too (thank you Hardy). God gives you rezeki in many ways. you can never know what will come, therefore we should always give and dont expect. but when it comes, be thankful for it. the feeling is different alltogether. more meaningful when you dont expect anything in return. and never take advantage of the whole situation. we have certainly never expected this. if not for mak wan to introduce them to us, we wouldnt have known such a nice, warm, witty man from pakistan who is so so genuine and sincere. he treated us like his own brothers/sisters. i’m so thankful to have met and known both him and tahir.

kharis, you really ought to try it out (you’re the master of eatery!), subang branch has lunch buffet going for i think RM14. it is definitely, seriously worth it!!!

faiz, next time you’re down k?

just thought i’d share..

sheesh mahal no.33 jln ss15/5A, subang jaya (opp sjmc)

G16 jln dagang B3A, tmn dagang, ampang (new block of shophouses near police station)

It was a perfect start to the day we then went to the flea market, as planned, i got myself a beautiful necklace, if given another hour to browse, i’d probably get me more! We then pushed off to alamanda (again) to meet up with ibu, mak and k.uji for lunch. we had my favourite, steamboat! faiz msged while i was having lunch asking whether i’m still at the market, so sorry we didnt get to meet today. kita jumpa over laksa nanti! during lunch, we were asked with some ‘big’ questions. i guess now we really have to get going, make arrangements! fast! :))

back at ibu’s house i was ‘cornered’ by k.uji to purchase some products she was promoting. no it wasnt hard selling, not at all. it was so ‘pure’! hahaha!! she was so cool in promoting them, i simply cant say no to her! we then got into some really interesting conversation (having only met her the 2nd time today), it was so much fun listening to her, sharing and comparing notes!! we have more to catch up!

Off to k.sherry’s. i did my hair treatment while he had his hair cut. mum called and said kakak called (my sister calls home every weekend), spoke to dad. and at the end of their conversation, dad said it! mum was overjoyed, and we we were both relieved! finally, one step further!! kakak must be overwhelmed! God works in mysterious ways, and at mysterious timing as well, unexpected! He heard us, He heard our prayers, He heard what’s inside our hearts, its almost scarry! mum and dad has always taught me that be careful with what you say, what comes out from your mouth. its a doa. be careful with what you wish, even you dont say it out loud, He can hear us, its a doa. Dad’s relationship with kakak was never ever different let alone cold, Dad adores kakak, in fact he looks up to her. the amount of love for her that he has inside him, i just cant descrbe it. I suppose we both now have to get going. Alhamdulillah. i hope things will go smoothly, things will work out fine for us both, InsyaAllah.

Went to the banks, bumped into k.na at citibank (how i wish we could dok kejap at that moment to cit cat about our ’scoop’), i guess we’ll just have to do it some other time eh, and hopefully before her london trip.

I tend to be thankful with every single thing, from the simplest simplest things to the big happenings in life.I received a msg on friendster, from a friend back in primary. she recognised me from the photo (i must have looked the same, how boring!) i cant recall her at all (i’m terribly sorry anne, you’re not like me, boring - which is good!) i then went to anne’s blog and she wrote something about contentment:

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, its the realisation of how much you already have.

I’m glad and above all so very thankful, i am so content! you’ve filled my life with colours. have never felt so loved. thank you, you’re the greatest gift in life.

We went to Haziq’s school to get his report card this morning, Ibu and Abah was away so uncle hardy is  ‘acting’ dad for the day! a good ‘dad’, i must say! it was good fun too going back to school, eventho it wasnt my previous school but looking at the blackboard makes me sakit perut ls jugak! there was some sort of a fun fair going on as well! cool, dulu back in my time, tak ada pon fun fair during open day!

We went to alamanda after that for lunch and weekly groceries for mummy and baba, headed to nilai and rushed back home to cook us dinner. thank you for helping me in the kitchen sayang, we’ll cook in no rush next time k?

Yes, kami dah demam! its the akademi fantasia demam!! tak la teruk but we’ve been watching the diary and the concerts. tonight, me, hardy and khaizul saw the 4th concert together while having dinner. khaizul predicted idayu and he was absolutely spot on!! mulut masin! Mum msged right after the concert asking us why didnt we vote for idayu! (mum’s been practising sms-ing me lately, hoping she would beat me, in being the fastest!) idayu, being the best amongst them in the academy i reckon, will get back in i’m sure, just like last year!

No golf tomorrow (punyalah baiknya sacrifice his place to give others a chance to play) so i guess we’re gonna go to the flea market and to kak sherry’s, and hopefully after that, see mama for a while. i miss mum and dad so so much. havent seen yoyo for a lonnnggg time now. and i miss april too!

Been following him to the range lately. and i’ve finally hit some, right on target! managed to hit straight to the tree, to the bunker, to the drain and even on the green.. you know, where the flag is! one actually was just (i think) 3 inches away from the flag! yeyheyyy!! it was so close to the flag i actually hate to leave the range, but i had to say goodbye to it. a beautiful shot. could have won something if i’m in a tournament! hahaha. getting the swing of it now, thanks to my ever so amazing ‘coach’.

Went to the range again yesterday and this time i decided not to hit anything. i let him swing his heart out while trying mizuno clubs. leonard from royal sporting house was helpful in giving him tips! check out the mizuno mp32 iron

The past few days, we’ve discussed some serious matters. plans for the future. insyaallah, i will pray it will happen. kakak was so helpful in giving advise, giving us suggestions, options and links to different sites. touched. and yesterday, as i sat down and watch them white balls flying in the sky, i felt something i’ve never felt before. i’ve never felt included, important in my past relationship. we managed to discuss and share our thoughts, we somehow or rather, mapped our journey, laying down our options and plainly just sharing. everything i wished for was right infront of me! everything i wished, came true. its just a wonderful feeling when both of us want the same thing and willing to work hard for it and willing to help each other up.  and i’m so thankful for kakak’s help.

As i told him that night after our beautiful dinner (by the road!) at groupbase, no matter where we will be, no matter which path or line he chooses, i’ll always back him up, for i believe he has got something no one has, he’s got this drive in him, sparks, charisma, charm… he’s got so much potential, i’m sure everyone who knows him will agree with me.

Sayang, i am so blessed, fortunate to have you by my side. Thank you for teaching me how to hit them white ‘duponts’ (hope its the right spelling). we shall work hard on it k?

yes we are. he never fails to make my day either with his statements, his tiny tiny gestures, by just simply understanding, he never fails.

i can be quite difficult at times, i must admit. what i learnt today was, always talk it through before the day ends. dont let it drag on till the next morning. i tend to do that but only at my own time. and by the time i’m ready to talk it through, he’s already asleep! *sigh*

allow me use part of Dan’s speech at adik’s wedding, "i was wrong, you were right, i love you" :)) there!!!

cant wait till he gets home tonight. fetching him at the airport. cant wait for tomorrow too!

the past two weeks have been rather busy, helping DA for adik’s wedding. mum and dad was up in kl for a week! i had so much fun. the build up to adik’s wedding was slow, there were a few of mum’s and DA’s friends, all helped with the preparation. it then went full swing, almost everyone came for the preperation, even hardy! we all had loads of fun, shared laughters, experiences, had good food, it was good, everyone was in their chirpy mood, happy.

Alhamdulillah, the akad went on smoothly with only one lafaz, adik’s officially off the market! i cant help it but to share a tear or two for him. happy tears. i was all nervous for him, but he calmly, confidently lafaz with just one single breath. later at the reception, the bride shared a few words with her guests, it was so touching, you can actually feel what she felt, what any girl would feel on their wedding day. it came from the heart. it was a beautiful speech indeed. again, i cried! there’s a gap between the akad and groom’s reception. in between that, i came to know both of them slightly more. me and adik we’ve known each other since we were small, i was 5 at that time and i think adik was only 3. yes, he’s witty and playful eversince he was young, but i sincerely think he has found the one and i’m so happy for him.

the reception at hilton, alhamdulillah, everything went on smoothly. most of us wore lilac, hardy had his first baju melayu johor done and wore them that night. charming! i must say, adik was himself after that night, the look on his face, was such a relief!the next day, for the reception at home, i was down, mak couldnt open her eyes, my kaki all sakit, thus arrived slightly later than planned. we had fun taking pictures all of us, all the family friends, the whole group from london/paris. everyone has grown (except for tiffy and faisal, still the same size!). friends i havent met since i was probably 10? kecoh!! linda, diana, mukhriz.. it was tiring, but it was all fun! made new friends, extremely nice, warm people, idah, hisham and his playful 16 year old brother. didnt get much time with mahani but will surely go out with her this next few weeks! i had fun.

i must say, both bride and groom, they look good together, it was a very nice gesture of them giving us the gift. a good gift which me and hardy will definitely use. what we did, it was sincerely straight from our hearts. thank you both, for during that two weeks, you and your families have somehow or rather, touched my heart. if you’re reading this, i wish you all the best, all the love and happiness in the world.

(he helped us throughout. he knows just what to do, what not to do. i’m so proud of him. everyone loved him. who wouldnt!! i still pinch myself till today! loving him ever minuite, every second!)